Depending on how people around me act, I tend to either eventually calm down to the point I can speak if I'm able to stim or if they continue pressing I may suddenly snap into a full-blown meltdown where I can speak but it's mostly yelling and screaming. After a bit of time I may be able to manage short, clipped sentences with either a flat affect or speaking too quickly in repetitive ways in panic, though usually the former. The world seems to slow down, sounds can become muffled and confusing. It feels like my voice is lost inside me and my inner monologue is diminished sometimes to the point of absolute silence even in my head. Under extreme emotional duress I become nonverbal. Or buying a bus ticket is enough talk on some days. I can comfortably spend days without talking to anyone (other than other. What drives me nuts is NTs inability to tolerate silence and blank expressions. Difficulty maintaining circadian rhythms etc. So a lot of what the tv commercials now market as non24 would be balid too. Oh and Iʻve got also English as third language and shitty, uncorrectable eyesight issues. Iʻm not from this culture, donʻt identify primarily with my genitalia but brain. They ASSUME i can be read like persons of my age with femaleness and camericanness, with "white" skintone (read: culture and the gender-bipolar expectations of reasoning, behaviors, and emotionalness of all persons with femaleness in USA). What does it feel like? Like iʻm surrounded by idiots that canʻt control their emotions and that arenʻt even of the same species. (Plus in a few other places but hospitals are a common cause for me. Then iʻll just use the iOS built in voices to speak it out really fast, with a british male voice (iʻm a person with female parts, and not british). I prefer braille for writing, AND when i want to "speak", typing. Pen and paper wonʻt cut it for me any more in nonverbal situations. Tha assholes didnʻt give me my communication tools. One advantage to getting older, I suppose. At this point in my life, I have been able to arrange things in order to minimize those situations. It is usually a relief, but I generally have some embarrassment or shame because I haven't understood that not everyone has to struggle that much. When does it end or stop and what is it like? When the stress and anxiety ends, I can talk again, basically there is enough energy to support my speech processing again. If I push, I can get out a few words, but I tend to stutter and it takes me a long time to say things. I can make hand gestures or nod or shake my head, so I can do some very rudimentary communication. I tend to want to escape the situation and I am focused on that. When I am using up a lot of energy to keep my anxiety pushed down, there just isn't enough extra energy for speaking.Īre you able to type/write when you can't speak, and if so why?** I have not tried to type or write, I have learned how to avoid those situations as much as possible. I think very visually and I have realized that I translate those thoughts into speech. What does it feel like? It feels very frustrating, I want to communicate but my translator for speech basically shuts down because I have no extra energy for processing. He and I would both get frustrated in this situation, but he finally started to understand that it was a struggle for me to speak at those times. After an hour of working out, I would be very stressed and I found I could not speak to respond to his questions. There were many times at first when he would give me direction on how to do something, verbally, and I would get very stressed because I did not understand how to do the activity. I started working out with a friend who also had experience with exercise and he understood about my issues. I have difficulties in understanding instructions for physical activity and I get extremely anxious about performing when someone else is directing me on a task. The issue can occur at other times but I am currently most familiarity with this situation. Why? I noticed this over the past 3 years while I have been working out in order to get fitter. When does it happen? For me, it happens when I have gotten overloaded with a situation and I have a very high level of anxiety and/or stress. Being non-verbal is something I've always had a problem with but I didn't realize until recently what was happening.
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